Yesterday we looked at some of the preparation work that is helpful in achieving our goals including personal inventory, Shadow Work and strategies to counteract personal traits that may prevent success.
What about self sabotage? How do we overcome our conscious or unconscious desire for failure?
My personal belief is that self-sabotage is rooted in unresolved trauma, usually from childhood. One method that I often suggest to my tarot clients is to identify the voice in your head that says awful things about you. Try it, Who’s voice do you hear when you say shitty things about yourself? I promise, if you dig deep, it’s never your own voice.
The reason I can say this with such absoluteness is because your core self, whether you call it your higher-self, HGA or Neshama is never going to abuse you. The abuse we perpetrate on ourselves stem from outside sources, always. Once we can recognize and resolve the liar in the back of our heads we can unpack what to keep and what give back; what is useful and what is harmful to our progress. (I’ll look at specific techniques to work through this issue in another post.)
Assuming we’ve now done the ground work necessary to remove any personal roadblocks we need to look at the practical roadblocks.
My goal list for September might seem daunting, really difficult and nearly unachievable but, if we allow for an opportunity and room for life to happen in our goal setting it won’t seem so impossible.
A strategy I like to include is “What if?”. What if my car has a flat in morning and I miss my opportunity to go to the gym? What if I sleep in because my kid was sick all night and miss my opportunity to meditate? What if… life happens and there isn’t anything that you could have done to prevent it? Do we just give up on our goals as some cosmic sign of our failure? No. We give ourselves the opportunity to make up what we missed without scolding ourselves.
An example from my own goal list, ; work out at the gym five days a week, if life happens and I’m not able to make it, I’ve made an agreement with myself that if I go for a 30-60 minute walk in that day, it still counts, if I work out on my home equipment, it still counts. Being too rigid and inflexible in goal setting is a sure fire way to ensure failure.
The last of my personal strategies for goal setting success must include Magick and requests of aide from Deity. However, with the vastness of different Magickal and Spiritual modalities out there I hesitate to tell anyone how that should look, except that as Spiritual and Magickal people it should absolutely be included. Be it help from your Ancestors or inspiration from Bridget, tapping into your personal relationships with Deity gives not only an added support system but also a sense of accountability. Personally, the last thing I ever want to do is petition my Gods for help and then not follow through with my goals. The ramifications of that could really smart.
In future posts I’ll go into more detail with exercises and techniques to work through these goal setting suggestions. In the meantime this is not an exhaustive list by any stretch and my recommendation is to include them where you can with any other strategies that already work for you.